You spent the long weekend at college rather than going home to see your high school friends, and you found a wild party just off campus. They didn’t care that you were underage, and the beer just kept flowing into your glass, and somehow disappearing out of it.
You thought about asking for a ride home, knowing that you couldn’t drive yourself, but you didn’t want to seem lame to your new friends. They were cool, they were energetic, they knew their way around campus and possibly, just possibly, could make you a little cooler too. A few parties like this, and you’d be part of the fun crowd .
Maybe you saw yourself hanging with them at the football game, even if they never mentioned football. Or dancing and drinking at the hot spots in town. Or going to the great concerts coming to campus later this fall. You certainly didn’t want to seem like a lightweight, so you just slowed down your drinking.
A few hours later, you found yourself in the bedroom, clothes tangled, and one of the hosts was urging you to relax, telling you that you were hot, so beautiful, so exciting. You might have not wanted to have sex, but with his urging and your tiredness from a long night and, of course, a few beers, it was just too hard to convince him that you meant no. Or he wasn’t listening at all. Or maybe it was too late to even tell him to stop. You really didn’t want to stop anyway. It felt good. If you weren’t a virgin, what is the big deal? How could he know all the thoughts in your head?
How do you feel today? Are you okay with what happened, or do you have regrets? Do you have anger? Depression?
Legally, there are several choices to make. We’ll discuss those at another time.
Take care of you first. Do you need to see a doctor? A counselor? A victim advocate? Any of these professionals can help you work through your feelings and help you determine whether you need to take any further actions.
Check with your Student Health Center, Counseling Center, or the Police (where many victim advocates work from, although they do NOT report to the police and do NOT give the police information without your consent except in the case of child or elder abuse). You can do this at any time, even months afterward, if you need to talk about your experience without getting judged.
Student Success Strategy #61: If you need it, get help. Some situations may bother you now, others later. Help is available.